This Kind of Love

Four years ago today, I pledged my love and life to my best friend. Best decision I ever made. Here is a look at our life over the past years, to the lyrics of the song of our first dance as husband and wife, This Kind of Love, by SisterHazel.

This kind of love makes me feel ten feet tall

 It makes all my problems fall

This kind of trust helps me to hold the line 

I'll be there every time

This kind of love is what I dreamed about

 Yeah, it fills me up, It leaves no doubt

 This kind of love it's why I'm standing here

It's something that we can share

I can't get enough of this kind of love

This kind of hope is what I try to find

And now I can't deny I believe

This kind of faith is so unshakable

It's unmistakable, it's bigger then me

Your Love can move a mountain

It makes my world go round

Its always there to guide me

I'm so lucky that I found

This kind of love it's what I dreamed about

Yeah it fills me up

 Well baby it leaves no doubt

This kind of love it's why I'm standing here

 It's something we can share

 I can't get enough of this kind of love

 This kind of love

And because I think it is so important to always remember the covenant we made before God, here are the vows we wrote together for each other.

I, Jared, take you, Amy, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others. I promise that I will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God's guidance by His spirit through the Word, And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life 
as a loving and faithful husband.

I, Amy, take you, Jared, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. Jared, I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife. 


And last, but certainly not least..... so incredibly thankful for this little miracle gift!

Becoming a family has been beyond anything I could ever have imagined!


I am one ridiculously blessed girl....

Identity

I am linking up with The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Fridays!

Five Minute Friday: Identity

On Fridays over here a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Your words. This shared feast.

If you have five minutes, we have a writing challenge <—click to tweet this!

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

OK, are you ready? Facebook chimed in last night and overwhelmingly voted for a prompt either about mothers or Mother’s Day. This was one of the suggestions and I love that it can apply to any and all, mother or not. So please give me your best five minutes on:

Identity

I am a nurse, a wife, now miraculously a mom. I am a daughter, sister, cousin, friend, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law. I blog. I like photography. I enjoy tapping into my not so creative side. My husband and I volunteer with college ministry.

Growing up, I always wanted to be that kind of person that who was know as "the girl who does/is x,y, or z." I wanted a specific identity. I didn't have one. I am not exceptionally talented in any one area, unless you consider my ability to fall asleep anywhere at anytime.

I am the kind of girl who is an odd mix of contradictions, extremes, blacks, whites, and grays.

Several life experiences have gotten me to where I am today. My identity is somewhat fluid, and I am  completely ok with that.

My identity in Christ is solid. I know I am exactly who He created me to be. Now, I don't always enjoy that individual, and often times wish He had bestowed a few more abilities/blessings my way. But I rest in the deep assuredness that I am exactly who He wants me to be.

My identity to the world around me has taken a while to form, longer then most I would suspect. My truly first defining moment came when I became a pediatric nurse. I never knew I could so compassionate, yet objective. Professional, yet personal. Scheduled, yet flexible. Follow the rules, but find ok ways to break them along the way. I was meant to be a nurse. And a darn good one.

Then I met a blue-eyed boy, who wooed me all the way the ol' East Tennessee. It was time to say good-bye to my dream job, in my dream location. On to find a new identity, just when I was getting so comfortable in my shoes.

I never thought I would be a wife, as I didn't think I would be a good one. And while I certainly am not a candidate for wife of the year, I do enjoy learning to be a better wife every day. And I was extremely surprised how easy the transition was for me.

Nearly a year ago, a third defining moment entered our life - a positive pregnancy test! Now I am mom.  I am still learning the type of mom I was made to be, and hope to continue to always learn. I won't be the world's greatest mom, but I am pretty sure my children will always know I love them! At least, that is my hope and prayer.

All that to say, here I am, reaching my 30th year (YIKES) and I am still learning my identity. As much as I like to plan things out, put things in neat little categories, I am so glad I wasn't the little girl everyone knew as this category or that. It kept some fluidity my life, while I tried to keep everything so regimented.

A final thought, Jared and I hear from other young couples all the time, "oh that is so awesome you work with college ministry... we are still really trying to find our identity as a couple. You know, like what ministry God has for us to be in."

Yes, we work in a college ministry. Guess what? We never know from semester to semester if it will be our last. Our identity isn't in that. As much as we will miss our college kids one day, I am sure at some point, we will move on to something else. But what we have learned during our time here will follow us forever. For example, I am sure we will always have a revolving front door, open to people of many ages.

If you are struggling to find your identity/ministry in your marriage, guess what, you found it - its in your marriage. There are few greater mission fields then in field of marriage. And you have to find your identity in Christ before you can be able to step out in whatever area He calls you to.

So, don't worry if you haven't found your identity yet. I haven't really either. And I kind of hope I am always searching for it....

P.S. Confession time, this definitely took a few minutes longer then five minutes!:) But my fingers wouldn't stop, so I kept typing. :)

It isn't Easy, It isn't Clear... Its Real

Linking up with The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Fridays.

When last did you write for fun?

Not to impress anyone, not for blog hits or comments or Pinterest pins?

When last did you just write?

On Fridays over here a group of people who love to go all out buck wild for the fun of the written word gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

If you have writer’s block – we have the cure <—click to tweet this!

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Real...


Why is it that real is what I crave in others, but resist so much in myself?

I avoid people I feel aren't real, that present the fake or shallow areas of their life with me. Yet sharing the most real parts of myself with those around me is so darn difficult.

Hypocritical much? I think so.

I have a blog post that has been swirling around in my head for at least two weeks. I haven't even written it and just saved it as a draft, because it is so real. I don't have a huge blog following, but even so, I know it will be offensive to some, and even seem critical to others. Probably only one or two people would agree or even be encouraged by it.

But I can't get those one or two people out of my mind. What if what I have to say, is God given, just for them. Maybe its exactly what they need to hear to know they are not alone. How many times have read other's words only to find exactly what I needed to hear/read.

Also, I don't feel qualified to write such a post, as it will require a level of depth I fear I don't have. I am not a Bible scholar, and quoting scripture has never come easily to me.

However, the other night at bible study, one of the young wives hesitantly shared an opinion with me along the exact lines of what my possible future blog would be about. She and I were both shocked to find we shared the same thoughts and opinions.... it was the first either of us had heard another Christian lady whisper such feelings.

Maybe this was a sign from God, some encouragement, to be real, and dang it, vulnerable.


We had a tragic event in our town this week. A young, gorgeous, vibrant, sweet, and much loved girl lost her life in a tragic series of events. She was very much a part of several of our college kids lives. Pain and confusion are rampant on campus. Emotions are everywhere.

I had a dream the night it happened that many kids gathered at our house, and the girl that was lost showed up in ghost like form. We all sat and listened as she verbalized every "why" question I have heard in our student friends verbalize, or just t seen in their eyes.

Their emotions are real, and cover a wide spectrum - denial, grief, anger, ambivalence.

I don't have answers for them, but if ever there was a time to be real... it is now.

In closing, for "our kids," these words.

Woke up this morning

And I heard the news
I know the pain of a heartbreak
I don’t have answers 
And neither do you
I know the pain of a heartbreak

This isn’t easy
This isn’t clear
And you don’t need Jesus
Til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
They walk away
When a heart breaks

I heard the doctor
But what did he say
I knew I was fine about this time yesterday
I don’t need answers
I just need some peace
I just need someone who could help me get some sleep
Who could help me get some sleep

This isn’t easy
This isn’t clear
And you don’t need Jesus
Til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
They walk away
When a heart breaks

This isn’t easy
This isn’t clear
And you don’t need Jesus
Til you’re here
Then confusion and the doubts you had
Up and walk away
They walk away
When a heart breaks

Lyrics: Ben Rector