Friday, January 28, 2011

His eye is on the sparrow

One of my favorite bloggers, Kelly, does  "Show Us Your Life" segments on her blog from time to time. The SUYL subject this week is adoption.

Adoption has always been something very near and dear to my heart - something I always knew I wanted to pursue if I ever got married. I even had a few countries in mind I was interested in adopting a child from. When my husband and I were early in our dating relationship, I was shocked and thrilled when he brought up the subject of adoption, as something he was interested in! He too was interested in international adoption. Once we got engaged, I remember thanking God that he had brought me to someone who also shared a heart for orphans. I had always figured adoption was something my future husband would have to "warm up to."

In our perfect plan, we had planned on having two kids of our own, and adopting two. I am a slight control freak and have an obsession with planning. God likes to say "Oh really??" to  my best laid plans, and prove that He really does know better. We had already hoped to have one child of our own, or at least on the way by this point in our life. God has chosen otherwise, for now. I don't know what the future holds for us. I chose believe we will be parents one day, somehow. I don't know when, or how it will happen. Based on the way my husband and I's life has been since we have been together - I highly doubt it will anything conventional... life changes for us tend to be something ground moving/earth shaking/when and how did this happen to us.:) Ordinary is boring, right? Still, you have no idea how I long for ordinary some days.

Many people, when they learn of our current infertility,  have asked us if we have considered adoption. And while we have considered it, and are very interested and excited about it for the future, we have not yet felt lead to take that path just yet, for several reasons.
1. We haven't felt peaceful that is what God is calling us to at this exact place in our life.
2. It is a huge financial step, and without God's guidance, not a step we are able/willing to take just yet. If a baby needing a home came across our path this afternoon, we would spring into action and follow the Lord's guiding in heart beat.
3. I am scared. Fear is not something I have ever dealt with much at all in my life, so I don't always know how to handle "fearful" situations. But being a parent scares the HECK out of me! The thought of watching/experiencing a baby growing inside me for 9 months, and all the adjusting that takes place in your life during pregnancy, gives me some hope and comfort as far a preparing to be a parent. The thought of receiving a phone call, signing paper work, and coming home one day with a baby in my arms, down right scares the poo right out of me! I am just not sure I have the emotional maturity to jump into parenting that way just yet.So I am peaceful about waiting, with an open heart and spirit, for now.

 I made the mistake of reading the story of Kelly's friend, Catherine's, adoption story first thing this morning, after applying my make up. My eye make up is now a sight to behold. While I am on this new journey in life, I think it might be time for me to start wearing water proof mascara. There are many other wonderful stories that have already been shared too. Even if you are not on the path of adoption, I still encourage you to read some of the stories. They are a beautiful illustration of God's hand leading, guiding, and directing. Maybe you have a family full of babies, and have not one desire to add to that brood, but you are longing for  a new church, a new job, etc. Maybe you are single and longing a spouse. Allow these stories to minister to your heart, and show in new ways, that we serve and majestic and almighty God, who's eye really is on the sparrow.

Click here to read more stories!

P.S. if one of my "Warrior Basketball" readers who adopted "Gracie" reads this - you  should share your story - and can use my blog to do so.:) Your story still makes me tear up every time I tell it, or even think about how kind God was to your sweet little girl and your family.

1 comment:

  1. Continue to seek God and his timing. No matter what happens, if you remain in his will, things will work out. Blessings to you as wait on His guidance!