Thursday, September 8, 2011

Psycho Preggo Part 2

This post was started back in July... I just recently edited it somewhat. Decided to keep some of the rawness for honesty sake.:)

When I wrote my first Psycho Preggo post, I thought it would be a one and done deal. Well, its looking like I should start a series.

I am NOT a crier - never have been, and probably never will be... except when I am pregnant. When we first found out I was pregnant, Jared went out of town for a week the next day. I was in too much shock to feel much of any type of emotion, other then anxiety. I was so worried something would happen while he was gone, and I would have to battle through it alone. After talking to one of my "surrogate moms," she encouraged me to just enjoy every day I was pregnant  - to find joy in any little thing.  And not worry about all the "What if's." As my mom says, "Don't future-trip."I had known this in my head, but my heart was having a hard time with the concept. Hearing her echo the thoughts in my head, were just what I needed to push me over the edge. The next morning, I went to the doctor for another set of blood work. When I got back in the car, our local christian radio station was on. I can't tell you what song was playing, but I started bawling uncontrollably. And continued to do so every morning for the next several weeks. I would get in the car, turn on the radio for a little praise and worship time, and cue the tears. I don't cry every morning now, but tears do still hit me at the most bizarre times - usually triggered by music praising my Heavenly Father.

Communion at church is another tear trigger. People at our church must think I have some serious sin bondage! HA! But it doesn't just have to be religious or Christ centered to make me cry. Um - commercials are killers! There have been several nights I have looked at Jared and said," I really could just sit and a cry a puddle I am so tired!" Like that would make the situation better. There have been times that the most basic acts that I never thought twice about doing or partaking in are so overwhelming all I want to do is cry. What the heck!?! Usually, I am able to realize the absolute outlandish ridiculousness of such a reaction, and end up laughing my way out of the crying-mood.

Enough on tears... onto some more fun/entertaining ridiculousness.

Earlier this week, as I was getting ready for bed, I had a mini freak out when I saw my protruding abdomen in the mirror. "Oh my gosh, Jared, LOOK, at my tummy! It is twice the size it was yesterday. At this rate you will have to roll me out to car when I go into labor." The next morning, I had a similar freak out in shower when I realized my abdomen was considerably smaller then it was the night before. I kept touching my abdomen throughout the day, checking the size. Finally, by 2 pm I was satisfied that it was back to its ridiculous large size, and by bed time I was having slight anxiety attacks about my ability to birth a child that takes after its father in size. Freaking cray-cray-crazy, ya'll!

As for food - people who tell you, "Just eat whatever sounds good, and you won't get as sick." are completely lying. I have pretty much decided that I could eat brussel sprouts or celery  (my least favorite foods) or Chili's South Western Egg Rolls (some of my favorite guilty indulgences)  and have the exact same reaction - vomititous! Speaking of celery, the last time I went grocery shopping, they were restocking the celery in the produce section right as I walked in. The smell sent me running to the bathroom, and dry heaving over the commode. Now vomiting at home is bad enough. Public restroom purgings are a thing all their own! In closing on the food subject, I have learned, if you don't eat - you get sick. If you do eat - you get sick. The only decision you really have is how you want to get sick.:)


  1. It's still fairly amazing to me how much my belly can change from morning to night, and the tears...oh the tears... I'm with ya honey. :)

  2. Hope you feel better soon!! As for the tears...I HAVE no more hormones and am still that way...ha!