Revelation Day Recap.

I was so excited ALL DAY Thursday, knowing we were going to see our little baby, and hopefully find out the gender. Interestingly, when I woke up Tuesday morning, our original appointment date, I just had this pit in my stomach that we wouldn't get to find out. I tried to shrug it off as just being nervous, like I always get right before an ultrasound (even though my little girl gave a solid kicking the night before!:) ). Or maybe it was just I was disappointed that my husband was having to leave to go out of town from the appointment. No fun celebratory dinner date, followed by the first of any baby shopping and/or registering. But that is all water under the bridge now - Thursday was the day we needed to find out!

Ellie was sleeping/not moving when the tech started the ultrasound, but I could see her little heart fluttering aways  - all four chambers (VERY important for this former pediatric cardiology nurse!) workinig in perfect harmony, so mommy was ok! The tech asked if we wanted to the gender, and we assured her we most definitely did. I had some handy-dandy caffeine ready and waiting to shock her little system into moving, if she ended inheriting my personality, and wouldn't move out of mere stubborness.:) The tech decided to do measurements first, while she was still, then wake her up for the recorded portion of the ultrasound, followed by the gender determination.

The femurs were some of the first anatomical features measured. I caught a quick glimpse between the legs, and was 90% sure, to my shock and amazement, that she was a girl. Side note - I have said boy for the majority of th pregnancy and Jared has insisted on Girl since day one. But I didn't say anything.

I couldn't believe how big she had gotten, and how much more of  "person" she was looking. We saw her wiggle her fingers, her toes, kick and punch, drink her amniotic fluid, turn and look at us, and then promptly turn her back to us (13-18 years of age ought to be real fun! ha ha). It was great confirmation that some of the smaller sensations I have been feeling were indeed her moving.

The Tech did a great job showing us everything, explaining what she was measuring and how it was measuring up. This was great especially for Jared, who tends to be extremely lost during ultrasounds.:) We got to listen to the best "version" of her heart rate to date. I swear, I could listen to that sound all day long... need to figure out how to make a recording of it off the dvd.

Finally, it was time to look between the legs. The tech zoomed in on the area our little exhibitionist was easily showing between her wide spread legs, and laughed  - every ultrasound she had done that day was the same gender. I was now 99% sure of the gender, but was too scared to say. Could my original dream of having a baby girl first really be coming true? (And for the record, I was totally beyond thankful/ecstatically excited/over the moon at the thought of having a baby boy too. But - I have been raised around BOYS my entire life. If I had a girl first, I was guaranteed my daughter, and the rest could be all boys!) I looked at Jared and asked him if he could tell. He looked shocked and bewildered, "Its a boy!" he said in disbelief! The tech and I looked at each other and laughed - what the heck was he looking at?? With the push of a button, GIRL, popped up on the screen. That last 1% assurance that I had indeed NOT seen a p.eni.s  was all it took for the water works to start. Actually, who am I fooling, the screen could have read BOY, and the tears would have still flowed, with me saying "Oh, hey my little man." Heck, they are flowing now just typing it, and thinking about the day we might see BOY on the screen. Happy tears, I promise!:)

Back to my husband's confusion.
Jared:"So what exactly are we looking at here?"the tech circled the tell-tale area, and again zoomed in.  "Oh, I see it now."
Me: Babe, what on earth were you looking at?"
He points to the appendage on the screen that he had thought was the genitalia. It was her femur! The tech and I died laughing!
Me: Thank goodness she is a girl... if we had been pregnant with a boy, you would have needed counseling to handle all your fears of horrible "inadequacies" your son was going to have/experience.:)

Afterwards, we went to a little Italian dive that we like, the same place we celebrated this years anniversary, the night before we found out we were pregnant. And of course, started making the phone calls to immediate families, and sending out texts to our friends and family, followed by the inevitable facebook announcement. Her name made it to facebook at amazing speeds! Luckily, once the name was attached to an actual baby, we got a lot less criticism on my rather unique name tastes. We wrapped up the night at bible study with the college kids.

A little back ground on her name. Elliott, is my maiden name. I have loved the idea of it being a girls name since I was  teenager. There are a few female Elliotts out there, but they are few and far between, which I love! Faith is another name I have loved forever, and the combination sounded like perfection to me. My conservative straight laced hubby was not a fan of the name initially, but it evidently grew on him. When he got back in town after the week we found out we were expecting, he gave me a hug and said," I think its a girl, and her name will be Elliott Faith, because I do like the name Elle, and even Ellie, and this has been, and will be, and journey of Faith for us." I love we have  story to share with her behind her name! After we knew she was a girl, Jared looked and me and asked," is that our Elliott Faith?" I told him it was up to him. "Its Elliott Faith."

Can you believe I still haven't bought anything for her??? I did do some window shopping last night, but nothing purchased yet. Have no worries, that will change soon! Her daddy has definitely taken another step into "Daddy-dom." Right after he was sure she was a girl, the first words out of his mouth were," Oh no, soon she will be dating, then its time for her to get married, and I have to give her away." Ha ha, Sweet hubby, we have many more years before we have to worry about that!

Speaking of marriage, my dear friend Michelle, has a little boy Noah, who will be six months old next week. Evidently, we are setting up a pre-arranged marriage for these two. Noah went and bought Ellie some gifts yesterday, and here is the smile he gave his mommy when he learned what they were doing.:)

How stinking CUTE is  my future son-in-law!?:)

And the Gender is....

Hello World! Meet our precious baby GIRL

Elliott (Ellie and/or Elle) Faith Ross

Psycho Preggo Part 2

This post was started back in July... I just recently edited it somewhat. Decided to keep some of the rawness for honesty sake.:)

When I wrote my first Psycho Preggo post, I thought it would be a one and done deal. Well, its looking like I should start a series.

I am NOT a crier - never have been, and probably never will be... except when I am pregnant. When we first found out I was pregnant, Jared went out of town for a week the next day. I was in too much shock to feel much of any type of emotion, other then anxiety. I was so worried something would happen while he was gone, and I would have to battle through it alone. After talking to one of my "surrogate moms," she encouraged me to just enjoy every day I was pregnant  - to find joy in any little thing.  And not worry about all the "What if's." As my mom says, "Don't future-trip."I had known this in my head, but my heart was having a hard time with the concept. Hearing her echo the thoughts in my head, were just what I needed to push me over the edge. The next morning, I went to the doctor for another set of blood work. When I got back in the car, our local christian radio station was on. I can't tell you what song was playing, but I started bawling uncontrollably. And continued to do so every morning for the next several weeks. I would get in the car, turn on the radio for a little praise and worship time, and cue the tears. I don't cry every morning now, but tears do still hit me at the most bizarre times - usually triggered by music praising my Heavenly Father.

Communion at church is another tear trigger. People at our church must think I have some serious sin bondage! HA! But it doesn't just have to be religious or Christ centered to make me cry. Um - commercials are killers! There have been several nights I have looked at Jared and said," I really could just sit and a cry a puddle I am so tired!" Like that would make the situation better. There have been times that the most basic acts that I never thought twice about doing or partaking in are so overwhelming all I want to do is cry. What the heck!?! Usually, I am able to realize the absolute outlandish ridiculousness of such a reaction, and end up laughing my way out of the crying-mood.

Enough on tears... onto some more fun/entertaining ridiculousness.

Earlier this week, as I was getting ready for bed, I had a mini freak out when I saw my protruding abdomen in the mirror. "Oh my gosh, Jared, LOOK, at my tummy! It is twice the size it was yesterday. At this rate you will have to roll me out to car when I go into labor." The next morning, I had a similar freak out in shower when I realized my abdomen was considerably smaller then it was the night before. I kept touching my abdomen throughout the day, checking the size. Finally, by 2 pm I was satisfied that it was back to its ridiculous large size, and by bed time I was having slight anxiety attacks about my ability to birth a child that takes after its father in size. Freaking cray-cray-crazy, ya'll!

As for food - people who tell you, "Just eat whatever sounds good, and you won't get as sick." are completely lying. I have pretty much decided that I could eat brussel sprouts or celery  (my least favorite foods) or Chili's South Western Egg Rolls (some of my favorite guilty indulgences)  and have the exact same reaction - vomititous! Speaking of celery, the last time I went grocery shopping, they were restocking the celery in the produce section right as I walked in. The smell sent me running to the bathroom, and dry heaving over the commode. Now vomiting at home is bad enough. Public restroom purgings are a thing all their own! In closing on the food subject, I have learned, if you don't eat - you get sick. If you do eat - you get sick. The only decision you really have is how you want to get sick.:)

All is well - Promise!:)

Hello dear friends and faithful readers!

All is well in my little world, I promise. I just can't seem to get into the blogging swing now that I am pregnant. I am finally feeling better, as in I am not throwing up anymore (fingers crossed!), but I am still exhausted. I am journaling in my Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy Journal, and even though the entries are short, its about all I am managing to write these days.

I have a few drafts waiting to be published that I thought were woefully incomplete, but after just reading over them, they really only need some editing, and they are ready for your reading enjoyment. They were written during the lowest moments of preggo-illness... things are looking up, I promise. My lowest moment came around 15.5 weeks, when I was getting more sick by the day, instead of getting better. I was in bed, getting ready to go to sleep for the night, and I looked at Jared, with tears filling my eyes."Babe, I do not want to complain, because I am so incredibly thankful for this baby, and my heart aches for all those I know who are dying for be able to experience the misery of pregnancy illness, but I really don't know how I can do this for another 6 months!?!?!?" Luckily, my husband had faith it really was going to  get better, and tried to help me focus on the future. And of course, he was right. I haven't thrown up since our trip to the beach. I won't tell that story just yet. Trust me, it deserves its own chapter in this history book.

So here is a brief life recap! The end of the summer found me still sleeping most evenings, or at least curled up on the couch. I have started trying to get a few work outs in a week. But as a pediatric nurse, I am on my feet all day, chasing kids (and their parents) around the office, so I am dead on my feet by the time I get home.

We made a trip back home for my (then) future-sister-in-law's wedding shower. I am about 15 weeks pregnant here.

Baby sis (yes, she is wearing heels, but so am I), mom, Nanny, me and Jenny (SIL)

Past, Present, and Future Elliott Women

Then we were off to the beach with my husband's family. A week of nothing but relaxing=just what the doctor ordered! More on this trip later, I promise! Here is a sneak peek! (16 weeks preggers)

Then it was back to K-town to help welcome back all our college students! In all honesty, I was pretty apprehensive about getting all involved in the ministry again this fall. I could not imagine my life without it, but I also was having a hard time envisioning my involvement with my current lack of energy or motivation. However, its been wonderful - of course!:) Intramurals are in full swing. Love these "kids!"

Then it was back middle TN for my brother Matthew's wedding.  Lots of amazing pictures to come. Here is a preview!:)

 Elliott Siblings. We took this same picture at my wedding rehearsal

 The Ross Family (two days shy of 19 weeks)

 The ever expanding Elliott Family

The only picture we managed to take on the wedding day

We were supposed to have our anatomy scan ultrasound, with the gender determination, along with our midwife appointment today. However, I got a call a few hours prior to the appointment stating they needed to reschedule! This appointment has been so anticipated by all our friends and family for 6 weeks now, and they call mere hours before the appointment requesting a reschedule!?!?! I might have gotten a tad emotional on the phone. Long story short, I finally convinced them that my husband and I had rescheduled our work schedules to allow this appointment, he was traveling back in from out of town and was leaving to go back out of town right after the appointment. And oh yeah - I am a first time mom, after a battle with infertility, who was used to seeing a doctor twice a week. I had to have some confirmation this baby was ok, after not seeing or hearing it for 6 weeks! I got the midwife appointment, but had to reschedule the ultrasound for Thursday. We did get to hear the world's most preciously amazing sound ever - our baby's heart beat!! All was right with the world at that moment!:) As disappointed as we are that we didn't get to see the baby, and know what pronouns to use when referring to our baby, we realize how much we have to be thankful for. We are pregnant, our baby is safe and growing, and I am having a healthy pregnancy! We can wait a few days without an ultrasound.

Until next time... hopefully it will only be a few days, instead of weeks! 

The Baby-Daddy :o)

In pregnancy, so much gets said about the momma, the baby, the baby-belly, the baby's heart beat, the nausea, the exhaustion, cravings, emotions, etc... a lot of times, a very important ingredient gets left out/looked over - the baby-daddy.:) Today's post is dedicated to my best friend, and my baby's daddy-o.

Despite growing up with only sisters, my husband was NOT well versed in many aspects of "womanliness." Plus, anything medical in nature usually makes him want to pass out. Marrying a woman, who also happens to be a nurse, who has had a variety of female health issues has been a stretch, to say the least, for the poor guy. For real, the dude is just now being able to consistently say "Vaginal exam" as opposed to "Vag-EYE-nal exam." And no, it wasn't just because of his southern boy accent, although he has tried to claim that excuse.

As with most couples, his journey through infertility was much different then mine. He had a great deal more faith in this area then I did, and he was able to take the focus off of himself and his desires and focus on supporting me. Something I wish I had been able to do better, in reverse.  In the beginning, there were times I would get frustrated with him for "not caring enough that we weren't getting pregnant," especially, when it had been his idea to start trying in the first place. Jared majored in Communication Studies, and excelled in his Conflict Communication studies. (I tease him often that I am the more naturally gifted communicator, and he had to get a degree to excel at it.) These skills definitely came in handy when trying to deal with his hormone/fertility drug induced wife. Initially, he would joke that all guy's needed there their wives to have a brief bout of infertility, as it brings lots of certain activities husbands tend to enjoy. After his experience was no longer so brief, he quickly recanted that sentiment.


When we found out we were pregnant, it took WAY longer for it to really sink in for him, then it did for me. I was pregnant from the first positive test I saw. He wasn't really sure I was officially pregnant, and not in fact dying of some disease until he saw our first ultrasound. Ha ha Even then, he was pretty disappointed that "it" didn't really look like a baby. Has anyone sees the Friends episode of Rachel and Ross' first ultrasound? In case you haven't it was kinda like that, with Jared being Rachel, and me being Ross:)... minus the spanish subtitles in this video:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY-Zo1Am_nc
(for some reason the video won't add to the blog, so just click on the link if you want to view the hilarity!) 


I have heard that "Moms are moms from conception, but Dads become Dads at birth." I wanted to make Jared feel like he was just as much a part of this experience as I was, and every bit as much needed. Just because, "He finally figured out how to do it right," like I jokingly/lovingly tease him from time to time, didn't mean his job was over and done with. It was only just beginning.


Since he didn't really get a lot of the info on pregnancy and fetal development, and I knew he certainly wasn't going to start reading any baby books until we were on our way to hospital, in labor, I needed to find a way he could educate himself (not me do it for him/to him) in way that was enjoyable and non-stressful for him. I stumbled across two amazing tools - email updates from:
whattoexpect.com and babycenter.com
They send you multiple emails a week about pregnancy and fetal development, and you can create an account for the daddy to get his own emails too! It worked! He actually reads them and remembers the info in them. I get told several times a week what food our child is equivalent to in size - melt my heart!:)

For his first Father's Day I got him a few little gifts/helpful reminders of our upcoming family changes.

Jared and my dad with their "Dad and Grandpa" gifts to go in their offices

In case you can't see, this is the book I got Jared

We had our last appointment with our fertility specialist this past week, along with an ultrasound. We got to see our baby, actually looking like a baby - arms waving and punching, legs kicking and stretching, and full body turning! It was amazing! My tears started as soon as I saw the heart still beating. Daddy's tears started once he saw his little munchkin acting like a human. As soon as we got home, he kept watching the video of the ultrasound over and over and editing it down to a small enough size to text and email to our family. He keeps resting his hand on my rapidly expanding abdomen. 

I think he has finally crossed over into "Baby-Daddy-dom":)

How We Told Friends and Family

When we first began talking about starting our family, Jared and I both really enjoyed the idea of keeping our own little secret, between just the two of us, for several weeks. We thought it would be a really special something that only the two of us would know, share, and enjoy. Then, infertility hit. It really sends you reeling in a million different directions, you never even considered as possibilities.

As most of you know, I was very uncomfortable being vulnerable in this area. I didn't like opening up this area of my life to anyone and everyone. I even had a hard time with people closest to us. This journey has taught me so much about vulnerability! Overtime, we slowly learned how and when to share our struggle with certain people. It certainly wasn't the way I would ever have envisioned it "going down"... but I will say this: if we opened up to you about our struggle, and spoke with you about it more then once, "you" were such an incredible source of comfort and support, and we couldn't have made it through without you.

Once we grasped the reality that conception wasn't just going to happen for us, I slowly began to realize, despite all the new fears I was experiencing, thinking about a future pregnancy, I wanted as many people as possible praying for our precious miracle... if we ever were given one. We wouldn't shout it from the roof tops, but we turn to our "inner circle"... people we knew would rejoice with us, while faithfully lifting us up in prayer. And gradually, we would go out from there.

Our immediate families were the first to know, after we dropped $$$$ at the drug store on all our pregnancy tests, that Sunday afternoon. All of my family lives out of town, which made sharing it with everyone at the same time difficult. This weekend, the family happened to scattered all over the state. We decided my mom needed to be first to know - she had her own struggle with infertility, and as my mom, understood my emotional struggle better then anyone. We decided to send my family the below picture and text, but would send it to mom first, and wait to hear from her, before sending it out to the rest of the family.

Text: So, it looks like we were given an extra special, early anniversary present this year!:)

I didn't hear back from my mom for over 5 minutes - what the heck!?!?!:) So I sent my little sister, who I knew was with her, a text

Me: Hey Gracie, have mom check her phone

Mary Grace: She is talking to nanny, she will when she is done, unless its important, and needs to now?

Me: oh no, its fine, she can wait until she is done.:)

2.5 seconds later my phone rang and all I heard was "Oh my gosh! sobs sobs sob Are you serious??? Sobs sobs sobs, Thanks you Jesus sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs sobs followed by whooping and hollering, all of which took place in Target, I later found out!:) In the back ground, I hear my then 14yr old sister chanting "I am going to be an Aunt, I am going to be an Aunt."

We talked, cried, and celebrated for a while. I told mom she could tell the family she was in East Tn visiting, but to keep it on the "down low" for now. Gracie was allowed to tell one of her neighborhood friends, otherwise the child was going to BURST!:)

Next, the same text and picture went out to my dad and brothers, who were all working a huge AAU basketball tournament. My dad didn't have his glasses on when he got my text, so he showed it to his secretary to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him!:) He immediately called. I asked him to keep the news kinda quiet, as I knew there were lots of coaches, parents, and players at the tournament our family knew very well. He assured me he would. Somehow though, the picture still circulated rapidly, but luckily we were able to do damage control, before the news spread too far.:) Of course, my brothers all had trouble deciphering the exact meaning of the picture and message, but after conversing amongst themselves, they figured chances were pretty good I was pregnant!:) There was LOTS of celebrating going on from one end of the state to the other, in the Elliott household that day.

Next, we went over to Jared's parent's house to tell his parents and youngest sister the news (the middle sister Sara, has Down's Syndrome, so she doesn't really comprehend pregnancy until she sees you great with child. Plus, we were all a little nervous she would bring the subject up during times and at moments when we didn't want people knowing). Of course, there was lots more hugs, tears, and rejoicing.

Later that day, we came up with our "inner circle" we wanted to let in on the news. Some were family, old friends,  new friends, college students, etc... I am surprised my poor old phone didn't explode and die from all the texts and calls we received that day.

Unfortunately, Jared left to go out town shortly after the news. I did NOT enjoy being at home for my first two doctor appointments and blood draws without him, but we managed, and it was a good exercise in trust and faith for me.

The next weekend, we were up in Pigeon Forge at our CSF alumni reunion. We told a few of the students and alumni while were there, but not many. On the way home, we called our Grandparents and let them know our news, and sent out a text message to my network of cousins/childhood friends stating "we were pleased to announce the debut of Baby Ross in January 2012." We also gave my mom the go ahead to tell her sister, and several of her closest friends back home. After that, news spread quickly!

Two of our college girls who had followed our journey/struggle closely were Laurie and Whitney:

Unfortunately, both were out of town when we found out. They were two people we really wanted to tell, but selfishly we wanted to be able to do it in person. Whitney was coming back home the week we found out, and Laurie kept changing her mind as to when she was coming back (and moving in with us for the summer). I kept trying to convince her she really needed to come back, but she didn't listen, and therefore, was one of the last of the inner circle to know. A point she is still mildly bitter about.

Whitney was going to go to Bible Study with me on the Wednesday Jared was out of town, so after talking it over with Jared on the phone, we decided to let her in on the secret. We already knew how we were going to tell both girls. Whitney had gone to Universal Studios over Spring Break and brought Laurie and us back Thing 1, 2, 3, and 4 shirts.  This is what Whit saw when she walked into the living room:

She kept staring at this shirts saying "What does this mean?! I mean, I think I know what this means, but I don't want to say in case its not what I think it means." Once she realized she was in fact correct in her assumptions, her next question was "Does Laurie know?" She got some evil satisfaction out of knowing something Laurie didn't, but I think keeping it a secret nearly killed her too.

Once Laurie finally did decide to come back into town, and move in with us, she waited until we were already in bed before arriving at the house. As pay back for her prolonged absence, we decided to leave her with this gift on her bed:

As we went to bed that night I told Jared, "Make sure you sleep fully clothed. I will not be surprised if she comes flying into our bedroom once she gets home." Evidently, it crossed her mind. :) Needless to say, the next morning I had no less then twelve text messages from her consisting of, "Oh my gosh, are you serious, are you pulling my leg, I hope these messages wake you up, how am I supposed to go to bed now, WAKE UP!!!" Etc... Slid underneath our door was this:

After that, things spread the good old fashion way - word of mouth from one friend or family member to another. 


We didn't make it "Facebook Official" until after our first ultrasound. 

And we all know, nothing is "official" until its "Facebook Official.":)

Utter Exhaustion, ever present NAUSEA, and a Precious Bulging Belly

I have sat down at this computer so many times in the last few weeks to try to put to words what this experience has been like. To keep forever in written words, memories of this incredible gift God has given us. Unfortunately, extreme exhaustion and constant nausea generally get in my way - I can hardly hold my eyes open at the end of the day to type, and watching the letters pop up across the screen as I type them, makes me dizzy and nearly makes me loose what little food I have been able to eat that day. Fortunately, I purchased this at the beginning of our pregnancy:

I have kept up with entries each day. I can't wait to look back on this account years from now, maybe even with the little sweet pea these writings are about! I highly recommend this book for anyone who is expecting, or even has an early gift for a newly expectant friend. It is hilarious, and provides some much needed laughs each day. Also, it only has a few lines for you to fill in each day. I tend to be a bit wordy at times. I will more then fill however much space provided for writing. The limited lines keep my ramblings brief and concise, and isn't overwhelming, even during my most extreme pregnancy exhausted moments. Of course, I also purchased the companion book, Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.

Overall, I am very thankful for where I have fallen on the the dreaded first trimester symptoms spectrum - it really could be MUCH worse! I never knew one could feel so tired - as soon as breakfast is over, I could go back to bed for a 3-4 hour nap. Driving to work in the morning, I fight falling back to sleep. I have been known to take cat naps during my lunch break. I come home from work, eat a few bites, and fall asleep for 2-3 hours, wake up, eat a few bites more, and go back to bed for the night. My poor husband has become more familiar with my eyelids then my eyes lately.:)

On the food front, I have probably eaten meat a total of once week since I got pregnant. And by meat, I mean pieces of diced chicken. I used to eat chicken daily. Not sure what has happened, but I have horrible meat aversions right now. Which has made getting adequate protein really difficult. Luckily, I am still able to drink my Shakeology every morning. Interesting side note: in the Shakeology world/family there is a going theory - if you can drink the chocolate shake during your pregnancy, its a girl. If you can't, and have to switch to greenberry, its a boy. I have been chocolate all the way... we will see if I keep with the theory, or debunk it!:)

I have only thrown up a hand full of times, but remain on the verge the majority of the time. I would love to say I am one of the precious expectant mama's that says "but even when I throw up I have the biggest smile on my face, cause I know its just another sign of this beautiful gift God has given us..." Yeah, definitely not this girl, as evidenced this story. However, I do say a prayer of thanksgiving afterwards... once I get myself cleaned up and calmed down.:)

And it is not just meat I have aversions to, its food in general. I have lived off of applesauce and honey nut cheerios - seriously! I took this picture at the pool recently, titled "a Pregnant Girl's Pool Survival Kit"

Because of this somewhat lacking proper nutrition intake, I feel awful by the end of the day. Its a toss up - eat adequate/proper nutrition and throw up all day, or eat minimal, somewhat empty calories, feel terrible, but not throw up. I choose not to throw up every time! Which generally mean, this is what I have looked like many nights:) I haven't gained a pound so far, in fact, I am pretty sure I lost ~5 lbs, but I am not worried! I have no doubt I will pack on the pounds later!:-/ I think the weight loss has more to do with the extra pounds fertility meds love to hand you! Ugh

picture courtesy of my husband, sent to my mom

As not so pleasant as all that sounds, let me tell you about my precious, pooching-out belly - I LOVE it! I literally starting showing at 3 weeks! It just looked like a peach-sized protrusion just below my belly button. It has steadily grown since then. However, I am just now starting to look like I might be pregnant, and not just pudgy, based on what I wear. I love feeling, rubbing, patting, or just placing my hand on my belly, and knowing our little sweat pea is safely nestled inside me, growing like a weed. There is nothing else like it! Lately, the Baby Daddy has taken to resting his hand on my belly too, while we watch tv, are falling asleep at night, driving in the car, etc... I guess I can share some hand space on my belly.:) Here is glimpse at the belly bulging, from week 2, until now.:)

sorry about the poor quality. I have an archaic camera phone:)

I enter my 2nd trimester tomorrow! I can not believe we have made it this far, and this quickly! 1/3 of the way there!!!! Jared and I keep saying we don't want to jinx it, but this last 2-3 days, I have been a little bit closer to my usual self. I have been able to eat at least one normal meal a day, haven't napped nearly as much, seem a bit more energetic, etc... Maybe that incredible 2nd trimester energy everyone keeps telling me about is about to come my way???

There is so much more I want to share about what this pregnancy has done to/for me spiritually, emotionally, relationally, how it has affected my marriage, etc... but I am not back to that level of cognition yet (I swear I lost the entire half of my brain cells, you supposedly loose during pregnancy, by week 3... it ain't been pretty!) It still seems somewhat surreal. However, I am no longer walking around on pins and needles, waiting for the "bomb/other shoe to drop."

Until the the next wave of energy! For now, I am off for my morning nap! It is the weekend after all - time to catch up on some rest!:)

Pscyho Preggo

After all my posts about our longing for a baby, and our struggle to get to this point, I do not want to complain about all any of the unpleasant aspects of pregnancy. When people ask me how I feel, I say " 24/7 I am nauseous, exhausted, but so very thankful." And that really is how I feel! However, there have been a few down right hilarious stories... now that I am on the other side of them.:) Its been a rough past 10 days... ok, really 2ish months, but who is counting? Here are my two "favorite" Psycho Preggo moments.

Sunday Night:
It was not a good weekend. I felt awful! Everything I ate, didn't eat, did or didn't do seemed to make me worse. I was worthless all weekend, even though my poor little brother was visiting us. Jared was a champ - he took care of entertaining our guest, and even did his best to clean the house and do laundry Sunday evening! I definitely have a keeper.

As Sunday wore on, I was getting worse and worse. Finally, we decided just to head off to bed to see if I could "sleep it off." Ha! 2 seconds after getting into bed, I knew I was in trouble in the nausea department. "Do NOT move a muscle" I told Jared, "Or I am vom all over the bed." I am pretty sure he just thought I was being dramatic (I have no idea why he would assume such things about me!?!). We talked for a few minutes - for once he was doing the talking and I was doing the listening. At the same exact second Jared leaned over to give me a kiss goodnight, I knew I had lost the fight not to vomit. I threw up, with his face mere inches from mine, but managed to keep it in my mouth, and flew out of bed, whacking his nose with my forehead.

I made it to the bathroom door, and lost the contents of my mouth, and stomach, all over the clean sink. Next it was onto the toilet... for quite a while. I should also mention, Jared had just cleaned the bathroom that day. Washing my face that night had been out of the question. When my hurling episode finally decided to be over, my contact-less eyes could not figure out what all the black stuff was all over the toilet seat... it was mascara, from my unwashed, but now tear streaked face (I always cry, unemotionally, when I puke.) After this last realization, I finally started to cry in earnest - I had just puked all over the clean bathroom, I was an unclean mess, a worthless wife since I hadn't done an ounce of housework all weekend, but left it up to my husband... etc... You get the picture - pregnant girl, who just looks pudgy, not preggers, sitting on the bathroom floor, mascara cascading down her face, surrounded by a vomit covered toilet, sink, and vanity. This was the scene that greeted my husband when he finally thought it was safe to come check on me (I hate having people check on me when I am sick, especially throwing up! I have been known to lock the bathroom door! ha ha)

I am happy to say, we recovered (and cleaned up) nicely. Although, Jared isn't snuggling as much in bed, and definitely asks me how I am feeling about 5 times before I get my goodnight kiss.:) Can you blame the poor guy?

Tuesday Night:
I came home from work even more exhausted then usual, and unable to eat anything. So we called it a night at 9:45 pm. This never happens in the Ross household. I slept like a baby until 1:50am. I rolled over and felt amazing - completely normal! Ah, sweet relief. I made myself go ahead and get up to pee, as I knew my bladder would be waking me up between 3-4am - might as well get up since I was awake. Of course, as soon as I got out of bed, I was immediately hungry... followed by overwhelmingly nauseous.

I have been eating Honey Nut Cheerios like they are my job - its one of the only things I confidently know is not going to make me worse. I usually keep a box next to my bed, but of course this night, I had forgotten. And as luck would have it, the only thing I knew would satisfy this nauseous craving for food was Domino's Pizza!!!!! I tried to convince myself the frozen pizza downstairs would do the job, but my stomach lurched at the thought... only Domino's would do. I got Jared's smart phone and started trying to find a Domino's in our area that was till open and would deliver. I realized how ridiculous this was, and I stopped myself. I did not need this food, right this second... it was simply a psycho preggo craving. And since I chose not to satisfy said craving - I was awake until after 4 am, and had to get up at 6am. Needless to say, Wednesday was a long day. In fact, I am still recovering.:)

So there you have it - welcome to what Pregnant Life is like at the Ross pad. I am sure Jared, and some of our college ministry students could definitely add their own stories about me!:)

Say a prayer for my sweet husband... he might actually have it worse off then I do... well, maybe only when he gets off work and has to deal with his worthless-always sleeping-don't bring any type of food anywhere near me-why should I go grocery shopping when I am not eating-laundry might just walk down stairs and clean itself if I let it lay there long enough-wife.:) During the day, he gets to feel normal/good while he works.

Little precious fetus, you are kicking mommy's tail, but you are oh so very worth it, and this is the easiest you are probably ever going to be for me!:)

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...

So let's start telling the story of our unfolding/developing miracle...

After several rounds of Clomid without conception, our RE decided it was time for us to come back in for the dreaded "what do we want to do next" appointment. This was in April. The month of May was a very busy month for us, so we decided we would reconvene in June. He gave us the option of doing one more round of Clomid in May, if for no other reason then to keep the ovary stimulation up. I almost didn't do it. I was going to be out of town, in Texas visiting a friend, for a week in May, come home for a week, then Jared left for a week. Not a great schedule for baby making! Then, as we got closer to my trip to Austin, we realized ovulation was supposed to fall right around my trip - fan-freaking-tabulous! I almost thought about cancelling postponing my trip. However, we had made the decision a long time ago to not allow our dreams of  family to control our every move. We would "move when the spirit says move, stay when the spirit says stay." So off I flew to Texas... to one of the best visits with friends to date. I mean look at these people - how could it not be GREAT!?!

I tried to sneak Noah back in suitcase... he seemed pretty cool with the idea;-)

Such a little OT! (Ovary Tugger!)

My sweet friend, Michelle! How I wish we lived closer!!

So I came back from Texas, and re-entered the real world... and honestly, my arms were aching to hold my own baby, after spending an entire week with such a sweet little angel in Texas. It looked like I had ovulated in Texas. I had consciously decided not to do any sort of testing while I was out of town. What few clues I was left with upon my return home indicated that we had missed our opportunity that month. Life went on, and we looked forward to June and deciding what was our next step.
TMI alert:

I came home from work one evening, beyond exhausted, and very, yet vaguely, uncomfortable. It took the genius nurse inside me way more time then it should have to realize I was experiencing my first ever urinary tract infection. I now have a great deal more sympathy for those who suffer for those horrendous infections. Ugh! I called my fertility specialist, and he immediately put me on a "embryo safe" antibiotic, just in case, as well as some pyridium (a urinary analgesic that turns your pee brick red/burnt orange - creepy crazy!) 24 hours later, I am new woman. Of course, everyone starts telling me "You know, UTI's can be the first sign of pregnancy, etc..." To which I simply smiled and said "Yes, I realize this, but I am pretty sure that is not the case for me." I had been cramping pretty severely for over a week, my face was broken out, I had horrible headaches... all signs my next cycle was getting ready to start.

I took a test on day 28 (but I am 30-31 day cycle girl) since it fell on a Friday. My RE always had me test the Friday closest to my start date, in case I did happen to get preggers, and needed progesterone, etc... I had nearly forgotten to take the test, but remembered as I was running out the door for work. I ran back upstairs, and squeezed out a few drops of burnt orange pee, but only waited ~2 minutes, as I was already running late. I barely could make out the control line, thanks to me lovely new urine hue. "Well that was a waste of yet another test," I thought, as I laid the test on the counter, and ran out the door. 

This same afternoon was when I bought this picture, which I blogged about here

When I came home from work, I saw the test laying on the counter. In case you have never had to "try to conceive" for any length of time, allow me to fill you in on a little secret - we TTCers pull our tests out of garbage multiple times, for no less then 24 hours, just in case our eyes were working the other 50 times we looked. Don't judge. I glanced down at the barely legible test and thought just maybe I saw a second line???????

This is definitely NOT the first time I had tried to convince myself there was a second line... wasted lots of money this way! My heart did the typical race-a-way on me, etc... Instead of downing some water, and peeing on yet another stick, I threw the test in the trash, walked out of the bathroom, and went to sit on our bed. We were going to be celebrating our anniversary that weekend, before Jared went out of town for the week. The past several holidays and celebrations had been somewhat marred by my unmet desire for a baby. I sat there and prayed that God would help me be completely grateful for all He blessed me with, so much beyond what I deserved. I have the worlds greatest husband - really. He is the best friend I have ever had, and could ever want. So what if I didn't have a baby - I had something so few people ever get to enjoy. I have a beautiful, life long partnership, with my best friend, who happens to love more then I ever thought possible. I was not going to let my little pity party ruin our beautiful celebration. I wrote about our anniversary here. We had a wonderful time together, and while the "no baby" deal was still in the back of my mind, it didn't rob my joy, or keep me from being present in the moment.

Sunday morning, as I woke up to get ready for church, I was laying in bed and realized "hmmm... I am actually 2 days late, my boobs are killing me, and I am not bloated (I can easily gain 6-8 lbs of water weight prior to starting my period.) I figured I should probably take a test before Jared went out of town, just in case. So I stumbled to the bathroom, and realized I didn't have any more of the First Response Tests, which I prefer and usually take. Luckily, I had another brand, and gave it a good pee. Now usually, I make myself wait at least 5 minutes before looking, otherwise I will just stand there watching the urine move across the screen for the entire 3 minutes the tests requires to complete. I set the test on the counter, got up from the toilet and out of the corner of my eye I saw a very foreign sight

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh," and so on and so forth for the next 30 seconds.  Every month, I had planned a very special and unique way to tell Jared we were expecting, in case it ever happened. Not this month - nothing! I ran from the bathroom, with my hair going everywhere, yesterday's eye makeup smeared garishly across my face, and shook him awake, somewhat violently. "LOOK!" I said, as I shoved the test mere inches from his face. 

Jared:What on earth is that, and what does it mean, he asked groggily. 

Me Um... I think I might be pregnant.

Jared: You think you think you might be pregnant, or you really think you are pregnant.

Me: I think I kinda might be pregnant, you don't get false positives this far out on clomid.

Jared: Go pee on another test.

Me: I can't, I just peed!

Jared: Go drink some Sunny D - it worked for Juno.  (Seriously!?!?)

We decided to go ahead and go to church, and afterwards stop and pick up the brand I usually used. I gulped down as much shower water as I could, and hurried to get ready. Right before we left, I grabbed two more tests - the last one from the kit I had just opened, and one crappy generic test my RE had said to NEVER use, as it would never give me an early positive. This is what we saw 30 seconds later:

Me: Babe, I think this might really be happening....

I held his hand so tight the entire way to church. My heart was racing, my head was spinning somewhere off to right of my right shoulder, and I my  breathing was labored. We agreed we wouldn't breathe a word to any family or friends at church, so we put on our best poker faces, and walked in. I cried off and on through out the entire worship service... emotions that I can even begin to describe.

As luck would have it, Jared's sisters wanted to go to lunch with us after the longest church service I had ever sat through (I honestly have NO idea what the message was about!) Finally, after lunch we headed off to the drug store to pick up additional tests. And yes, by this point we had 3 positive tests at home. Jared wasn't going to be convinced until he saw "pregnant" on one of those dreaded digital tests, so we picked up tests "for" him and tests for me, and headed home. 

As this has gotten way too long already, I will leave you with these images:)

More to come, but later! This I need a nap... before going to be for the night:)

Singing my Hallelujah Song

These past two months have been a whirlwind for me and my husband! We received the most precious gift imaginable on May 22, 2011, 2 days before our 3rd anniversary:

To say we were (and that Jared still is) shocked is an understatement! :)


There are soooo many more details that I can not wait to share with you in the near future. However, as ecstatic as I am to be able to share this news of God's loving faithfulness to us, it breaks my heart into a million pieces as I think of all the other couples out there still praying for their "Hallelujah Babies." This blog has introduced to me to so many people whom I never would have met otherwise. Women who often understood my pain and heartache better then those around me - they have been/are in my shoes.


I realize reading this news will bring great rejoicing to some, and extreme heartache to others. Because of this I will not be sharing any more of the details of our miracle just yet - I want to give some of you out there time to process for yourself however you need to. I urge those of you who are hurting with unmet dreams and desires to seek comfort in the arms of your Heavenly Father. He will take care of you in ways no one else on this earth ever could.



God is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine. Eph 3:20 

Random Ramblings

Extremely random and scattered thoughts... the way my brain usually works!:)

- So much for summer schedules allowing for more blogging - definitely doesn't seem to be happening!

- Hubs got me  a Kindle for our anniversary (totally surprised me!) First book I added - Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by Ree Drummond. HIGHLY recommend it! For those of you who don't know, Drummond is the author of The Pioneer Woman blog. I have to admit, I have never read the blog, but after loving her book, I have a feeling I might have to start.

- Any recommendations for what to read on my Kindle next? I might have to re-read the Help, because it just that good. I am previewing Girl with the Dragon Tatoo presently.

- Speaking of blogs, I love my Google Reader! I have no idea how on earth people keep up with blogs (or survive without them) without their Reader set up. If you haven't done it - you must!


- It feels like forever since I have been back home! Its been almost two months (long time for me and my family!) We are going back next weekend, and I am very excited.

- My baby sister is turning 15 years old next week?!?!? How is this possible!?!?! I am NOT old enough for her to be this old!

- We spent Memorial Day Weekend with our college ministry's Alumni in Pigeon Forge for our Alumni Reunion. It was the first time we rented a place for all of us to stay together. It was great! My mom and only one of my brothers were the only two family members who were able to join us. Which means I got  my mommy all to myself for nearly 3 days and 2 nights! I think the last time this happened was the week preceding my first brother Daniels birth 25 years ago!:)

- I just requested an invitation to Pinterest - this could become an unhealthy obsession. You really should check it out.

- One of our college girls is living with us for the summer. I feel like we see her less now that she is living with us then we did over this past year. Again, our summer schedules have not been slow, laid back, or relaxed, so much. She is a great girl... oh and see is single - know any great guys needing a great girl!?!?:)

- I am really hoping the rain holds off today - girlfriend needs some serious sun tanning going on. For real!

- I also need to go bathing suit shopping... especially before we go to the beach in August. My "main" suit I have had for 10 years, at least. I kid you not.

- I also really need to get my bridesmaids dress for my brothers wedding in September - eek! Maybe when I am home next weekend...

- As much as I love our college students, I am really enjoying getting to go to a "grown up" bible study this summer, with other married couples!:)

- I have had several employees out on vacation, and one seriously ill supervisor (she needs lots of prayers!), which is making work insane (especially for the summer months!) I am exhausted at the end of  the working day, which is one of the main things putting a damper on my blogging mojo.

- My heart keeps breaking for my blogging friend, Amy. So many of us are praying incessantly for you to finally experience the joys of motherhood. Amy is an incredible writer, blogger, encourager, fitness freak, etc... you really should follow her blog!

- On a happer note, I am loving watching another blogging friend, Josey's growing baby bump!:)

- I have finally/successfully cut out all caffeine from my diet! I have suffered with moderately severe headaches since I was 6 years old. No rhyme or reason to them really. I have always read that while caffeine can help headaches, a lot of doctors recommend you cut it out of your diet if you have consistent headaches. I have gone about 6 weeks without any, and as much as I hate to admit it - I have been headache free! Part of it, I know, is just the time of year, but still! But decaf coffee just is NOT the real deal. I bought some flavored decaf last night, and its currently brewing... hoping it tastes a bit more like the real thing.

- At this point, these ramblings are really just an excuse I am using to avoid housework... yes, LAME I realize!

In closing, I will leave you with pictures of the shadow box I made for Jared in honor of our anniversary - sort of a picture/story of our lives together so far.

I couldn't get a great picture of this unfortunately... One of Jared's bosses was kind enough to help me commandeer some CAT stuff for the shadow box. He randomly selected this piece, which is the exact make and model of first piece of equipment Jared sold!