Day 16: this little light of mine

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.

Ellie Faith is staring to sing. As in saying every 5th word or so in a song about 2 seconds late. But it is just darn precious.

She loves Jesus Loves Me, Matt Maher's Lord, I need you, along with just about any song from DocMcstuffins and of course Mickey's Hotdog Dance.

But the song she can listen to the most consecutively is This Little Light of Mine, which she calls a very nasally shiiiiine!

She wags and waves her little pointer finger to the beat, eeeeks instead of saying no to the hide it under a bushel - NO! part, and blows a whooo noise for won't let Saran blow it out.

The shiiiiine fascination extends to anything the color yellow - they are all shiiiiines. This includes the sun, crayons, and candles. 

For whatever reason, these days  I want apple candles burning all day long in our house. Maybe it helps keep me from eating any more then 4 honey crisp apples a day. 

When Ellie wakes up in the morning or from naps, if she doesn't see the candle on the kitchen bar burning she emphatically and incessantly says shiiiine on mommy, shiiiine on!

She is becoming a wee bit too fascinated with the flame of a candle.

Yesterday, October 15, was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day, where people could light candles in honor, memory, and celebration of these lives and their family.

The girls and I picked up some votives last week in preparation for this day. 

I had some fun ideas for getting pictures of the girls with the lit candles... It was a good idea in theory just not in practice.

Kids under 10 should probably just be kept away from open flames for their safety ... And the safety of your home.

We lit three candles this year - our angel baby, one for Gabriel Morgan, as well as the other babies our friends have lost in miscarriage, and for my parent's four angel babies.

It was awesome seeing Facebook and Instagram flooded with pictures of flames flickering away in the name of our friend's son, Gabriel. I hope it helped the sweet Morgan family feel loved, supported, and remembered. 

I was so blessed to have these two candles sent my way by one of our friends and one of our former college girls. While I know a miscarriage is much less traumatic then going through the loss of an infant, it's still a baby. Your baby. And even though it's life was only inutero, it's still touching to know the life is remembered. 

If you are ever wondering if you should remember a baby lost in miscarriage or infancy by someone you know - just do it. The parents never forget. You won't be bringing up bad memories. Your remembrance will be seen as a celebration, and therefore sweeten the parent's memories.

Case in point, my parents. I sent them the picture of the candle lit in memory of their angel babies. It hit them much harder and touched them way more then I ever could have anticipated. They have always spoken openly about the miscarriages, but we have never really done anything as a family in memory of those lives, until last year. We got mom a pandora bracelet, and dad chose a charm of angel wings in memory of the babies lost. My parents miscarriages happened over the span of 15-30 years ago. And yet they still remember.

Ok, shifting gears here to a more light hearted note.

We went grocery shopping yesterday, which is always an experience.

Can all the mothers of the free world band together and insist, create, fund, something the invention of shopping carts that accommodate numerous children and/or carseats. 

You are loosing money on me grocery store - I can barely fit half my needed groceries in the cart around the infant carrier, and the task of pushing the cart out to my car, one handed, while carrying an infant carrier in the other hand is no small fear post c-section, keeping me from making more frequent trips.

And those awful car-carts - pretty sure I would pop a uterine stitch trying to maneuver one of those around the corners of the aisles.

Epic first world problem...yes, this I realize.

Anyhow, the plan was to be at the store by 11. Plenty of time before lunch and naps. But as luck would have it, the girls conspired against me with their latest episode of "lets poop and puke as much as possible since mom thinks leaving the house is a necessity today."

Oh, and in case you ever think showering while the toddler is awake and has free reign of the house is a good idea - its NOT! Still digging ourselves out of that disaster nearly 24 hours later. 

By 12:30, we were pulling into the parking lot. Way too close to lunch and naps.

I turned my head for 15 seconds trying to find the right amount of ground turkey, during which time Ellie decided she was hungry and bit through a plastic wrapper in an attempt to eat one of her love languages - cheese.

Feeding your toddler lunch while shopping seemed like a win win for mommy! The toddler should be nap ready by the time you arrived back home. So I fed her cheese straight from the pack.

Judge away. The toddler was beyond thrilled!

Since cheese and turkey is a frequent lunch combo in our house, Ellie began chanting tookey, tookey two slices of cheese into her cart feast. We needed turkey, and since we were semi-close to the deli, off we went to get turkey.

Ellie usually only eats a slice or two when at home. Apparently, she was ravenous after destroying the entire house and produced obscene amounts of poop that morning.

hungry much kid?

We started with half a pound of turkey, but by the time we reached check out, I fairly certain we only had a 1/4 lb left.

Later that evening, Ellie wanted to "hep" (help) me make dinner... complete with her BFF's: cat, otoscope, and DocMcstuffin's f*< k (yes, my child drops the f.bomb clear as day any time she refers to a fork. Sometimes though she adds an ey to the end the word to sweeten the deal a bit).

I am so thankful we had our family pictures taken two weeks ago, as this is Ellie's precious new "smile for the camera" face. 

Lovely, isn't it? Apparently, she and her daddy have been practicing and perfecting the look unbeknownst to mommy.

Thanks babe. ;)