Day 31: New To Two Finale

It has finally arrived - the last day in the 31 Days of Writing Challenge.

This month of October has completely flown by for me! Not sure how much of this was because of this New to Two role of mine, and how much had to do with the writing challenge.

The fact that I managed to post something every single day, before the midnight deadline, is beyond shocking to me! It has really helped me feel accomplished in one area of my life. Granted, this blog is overall one of the least important aspects of my life, but these days accomplishment does not come easily or readily, so I will gladly take it where I can.

I wasn't able to write posts on about half of the subjects that I had outlined for myself at the beginning of this journey. Most days just didn't allow for deep, though provoking, or soul baring writing. However, my main goal in joining this challenge was to record life, memories, thoughts, and emotions of this time in our life - adjusting to having two kids, under the age of two. And I feel like I did that. Even while traveling!

As luck would have it, I had great plans for this final post. And great plans for this final day of October.  You guessed it - not going to happen.

I've started working out again, and realized very quickly if I am to keep it up, and not ruin my favorite 3 o'clock hour ( I detest working out, and doing so during the 3 o'clock hour would completely ruin my "me time") I am going to have to get up earlier then the girls. Earlier starts to the morning also need to happen just to help life run more smoothly around here.

This morning I had my alarm set for a not too early of a time so I could get in my work out before we started the day. I have a long list of small tasks to accomplish today, as well as an evening full of plans. All of this should have gone smoothly, thanks to the plan in place.

As luck would have it, I woke up at 3:30 am with a splitting barometric pressure headache. Having a brain/head that is a freaking measurer of barometrics is not my idea of a desirable talent, but its what I have been given. When Quinn's 5 am feeding rolled around, my head hurt even worse, and I felt like I hadn't slept at all due to the headache. I turned off the alarm. The work out would have to wait until 3.

As I was eating breakfast, I got a text that Ellie's day long outing to the grandparents (aka a mom's saving grace!) was cancelled due to cases of the fall sickies. The to-do list would have to wait until… my youngest is 2 yrs old. And yes, that statement is overly dramatic.

When I started the month of October, and this writing challenge, I thought/hoped that the end of this month would find us in our groove. Schedules would be kept, errands run, chores completed, re-entry into society would be running smoothly, etc… Ha!

In all honesty, things are more disorganized now in many ways, then when this month started. But thats  because we have re-entered society. Errands are being run. Chores do get completed, just way past when they should have been. And because Ellie has decided now is the time to not only protest the very existence of her baby sister, but also take up pitching fits at any moment of day for any given reason, and often for no reason at all. Hello toddler-hood!

The only thing Ellie semi-enjoys about Quinn right now are her dirty diapers. She takes great delight in throwing "Shoonies" away. However, the slightest coo or whimper from Quinn sets Ellie off into a full on scream fest. You can imagine how things spiral from there.

Dear Lord, serenity NOW!

And while I realize this is a completely normal developmental adjustment, I know my daughter, and realize I need to do a better job incorporating her in Quinn's care and routines.

I am hoping and praying, that just like all other times in life, this is just a phase. Plus, I also realize that we were out of town for 5 days, and came home with an awful case of strep throat that resulted in a massive allergic reaction to penicillin. Its not been an easy past week for any of us.

As the mom, I set the tone for the house for the day, sometimes even down to the minute. It is more necessary now then ever before that I make sure I am taking care of myself, and cultivating my relationship with Christ on a daily, somedays even hourly, basis.

The role as a mom makes you hit your knees unlike anything I have ever experienced. Ten trips to time out in an hour (the first hour after breakfast), and the toddler is still doing the exact thing she keeps getting in trouble for, can make you feel like a complete and epic failure of a mom. Quite possibly a candidate for the worst mom in the whole world award.

In addition to being spiritually healthy, being mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy is also important as a mom. Seeing the numbers on the scale at your 6 weeks appointment, and having them swirl before your eyes every time you try to find an outfit to wear, will do a number on you mentally and emotionally. It is possible to still be carrying around the tons of pounds of water weight you obtained after giving birth due the massive volume of fluids you were bolused with, right?? If the answer is no, hush your mouth. Its what I am telling myself for now.

While I had hoped this post would be full of goals accomplished, awesome insights realized, and tips for how to survived the New to Two role, we just aren't there.

Fortunately, God started working on my need to adjust my relationship with expectations before I entered this new role.

Yes, I still battle self doubt, insecurities, and experience disappointments on the regular. But I also am learning to more readily stay flexible, and to adjust my expectations on the fly. As I am closing up shop, so to speak, in the evenings, I think this, this, and that is what I would like to do tomorrow, but we will just take it an hour at a time, and see what all the day has in store.

The month of October I wanted to write daily and settle into a productive schedule and routine. Well, I did write daily. Our routine is somewhat better. Quinn is at least sleeping better at night. Productivity is hit or miss, depending on the day.

So looking ahead to the month of November, the month of giving thanks, I want to do just that. Live thankfully.

Yesterday, I sent this to Jared:

"coot" is how Ellie says "cute":)

He is right - I will have years, later, to shower before 5 pm. I want to the be thankful in the days where the house is a disaster, I am unshowered, and the girls are wild and emotional. After all, this is what I prayed for and wondered if I'd ever get to experience.

Our interactions with the college ministry are picking up again, as we re-enter society. Life is getting really really busy, and we aren't even into the Holiday swing of things yet. Here is an overview of our week:

- Sunday: church/family day
- Monday: Main service on campus in the evening
- Tuesday: A few students come over in the evening to watch the shows we DVR for them:)
- Wednesday: our own "adult" small group
- Thursday: Bible studies on campus
- Friday: late morning play date. Evenings, usually visits with family or college kids, or family time
- Saturday: UT football, family time, household stuff, etc…

Yes, that is a pretty full schedule! But its a life we love.

In addition to being Thankful, I also want to accomplish some other simple goals:

• do my own personal Bible Study every day (I am think about doing She Reads Truth's James study on youversion.com) 
• get up before the girls
• work out 3-5 days a week for at least 30 minutes.

Those three things are tasks whose completion is nearly solely dependent on me. I can't blame my girls as the reasons for not getting them done. Accomplishing them most of the time will help me be a better wife, mom, and a better me. I am going to give myself grace to not accomplish them perfectly, or even daily. I somehow managed to write on this blog daily, so I have proved that I can do something daily if I really want to.

I have shared this picture before, but I love it so much, I am sharing it again.

via

In order to be thankful life doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, I think true thankfulness can be found more fully in the gaps and imperfections of life, with Christ.

I am not sure how many people, if any, read along with me this month, but for those of you who suffered along through it - thank you. I do plan on continuing to blog, but definitely not daily. That would bore y'all to tears! Maybe 2-6 times a month? We shall see.

Its been fun! Off to do some "toddler time" activities before Quinn wakes back up again!